THESE ARE NOT OKAY
READING THESE WAS A MISTAKE
Yep… I’m about to go to bed. Great!
The girlfriend and stillborn one is fucking creepy.
My little sister is a really pretty girl and she gets dick pics all the time from annoying boys, so being the girl she is, she started using them as blackmail.
She now has about 30 boys doing her bidding because one stepped out of line and she got someone to print out 500 copies of the photo and mailed it to his family.
My sister is 16 and she’s running a black mail Mafia.
She’s going places.
my ad for beauty products
girls putting makeup on like warpaint and kicking people in the face
old ladies wearing eyeshadow and getting flocked by hunks who carry them away and crown them queens of their own country
girls putting on makeup and then just sitting and eating doritos in front of the computer all day because fuck it that shits for you
ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN PLINKY-PLONKY MUSIC AND EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION AND BEING CONDESCENDED TO
me as a pedestrian: [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
me driving: say your prayers
i made a new skyrim character whose main goal in life is to steal all of the cheese in skyrim for herself
she hasn’t gotten very far yet but she’s off to a good start
three cities worth of cheese… i’d call that progress
people keep asking me for an update so
i’m gonna have to start putting it in another room because my housecarl keeps messing it up