sherrocked:

My little sister is a really pretty girl and she gets dick pics all the time from annoying boys, so being the girl she is, she started using them as blackmail.
She now has about 30 boys doing her bidding because one stepped out of line and she got someone to print out 500 copies of the photo and mailed it to his family.

My sister is 16 and she’s running a black mail Mafia.
She’s going places.

(Source: amovible, via 1marchingidiot)

revrealness:

clumsyoctopus:

my ad for beauty products

girls putting makeup on like warpaint and kicking people in the face

old ladies wearing eyeshadow and getting flocked by hunks who carry them away and crown them queens of their own country

girls putting on makeup and then just sitting and eating doritos in front of the computer all day because fuck it that shits for you

ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN PLINKY-PLONKY MUSIC AND EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION AND BEING CONDESCENDED TO

you’re hired

(Source: cephalodogs, via dragon-hoard)

me as a pedestrian: [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM

me driving: say your prayers

cheesyrogue:

cheesyrogue:

cheesyrogue:

i made a new skyrim character whose main goal in life is to steal all of the cheese in skyrim for herself

image

she hasn’t gotten very far yet but she’s off to a good start

image

three cities worth of cheese… i’d call that progress

people keep asking me for an update so

image

i’m gonna have to start putting it in another room because my housecarl keeps messing it up

(via dragon-hoard)